Strong women

Think of the first woman in your life. She kept you fed. Made sure you napped. Bathed you. Taught you to walk and talk. Kept you safe. Arranged your life down to the minute for at least a decade. You probably have her sense of humor, and many of her mannerisms. Your mom gave you life and helped you become YOU. When you were almost ready, she left you in the hands of other strong women…

Who taught you to read and add. To think and solve problems. To play nice and make friends. To be part of society. Your teachers walked you over the bridge from your mother’s arms to the wider world.

So, if you think even a little bit in the back of your noisy mind, in a corner of your beating heart, that a woman is not capable of leading the free world, squash that feeling like a bug on a birthday cake. She has been keeping the world running since the beginning of time, and she can lead the world with compassion, honesty, conviction, and strength.

Let’s do this.

GUILTY

Donny, the twice-impeached former president of the United States of America; who lost two consecutive popular votes; who watched his duct-taped-together-NYC-business come crashing down due to massive fraud and owes more than half a billion dollars; who owes almost 100 million dollars (so far) for losing another case related to abusing a woman in a department store; the creepy old man who grabs women by the p$%@y because they ‘let him’; who has cheated on all three of his wives; who called the pandemic a hoax and suggested the solution involved ingestion of bleach, letting the virus rage and kill one in 300 citizens, many his loyal followers; who denies data-supported, human-caused climate change; who stacked the Supreme Court to take away women’s right to make personal decisions about their health; who lies every time he opens his mouth; who can’t stay awake while on criminal trial; who becomes clearly more senile by the day; who turns on his allies when they are no longer useful to him; who doesn’t pay his legal bills; who bows down to dictators; who has been called an imbecile by former staff; who allegedly instigated and fanned the flames of an insurrection on our government on January 6, while watching it play out on TV and encouraging his army to kill the vice president; who allegedly tried to change the results of an election in Georgia in a coordinated, yet failed, conspiracy prior to that January 6; and who allegedly stole classified documents after he was pushed out of office by the massive roar of the voters, has been found GUILTY and convicted of covering up payment to a porn star who claims to have had sex with him while he was married to his third and current wife and then cooking the books to hide the story and save his campaign for president in 34 felony counts.

He was the first president to do many unethical, ignorant, and self-serving things. He was a common criminal before he became president. By taking on that office, the snake-oil-salesman-flim-flam-man lost the smoke and mirrors, left without a corner in which to hide. Scrutiny revealed his prior (and recent) crimes and now a jury of twelve of his fellow New Yorkers, his peers, has found the weak old man guilty, officially promoting this crook to a convicted felon.

I hope this email finds you well

The dreaded intro line of an email written by AI: “I hope this email finds you well.”

This email found me easily because the sender typed in my email address. I’m not well, though, because I received my 400th email from a chatbot who writes like an overcaffeinated pompous android, instead of from the student who signed their name.

Other tell-tale clauses of the bot include: “After careful consideration,” “However,” “I want to express my gratitude,” “Please know,” “As I reflect on,” “After carefully reviewing,” “While I understand,” “That said,” “I would be grateful if,” and more gibberish that sounds alien, completely unlike actuals humans speak or write. Begin with plenty of brown-nosing and effusive appreciation, before the profusion of hard work and professed dedication, and end with an earnest request for an advantage over others requiring an unethical exception to the syllabus policies that govern the course. That’s the proven formula for getting a professor to do the thing they should not do.

Perhaps professors should cut and paste these emails back into ChatGPT and ask the bot to write a response to itself that the professor can use a reply to the students who used the chatty ghostwriter to contact the professor in the first place. The circle of non-life.

April’s goldilocks

While I jogged this morning, fighting gravity up the hills while my left sock drooped into my shoe, sweat dripped down my back, and my brain took inventory that “nothing hurts yet,” I felt the glory of an April day in every sense.

I smelled sweet honeysuckle. I heard crazy cicadas. I watched the new green of baby leaves against a blue sky, and the road rolling by under my feet as I tried not to crush random cicadas struggling on their backs. A breeze stirred the air, while the morning sun warmed my skin, in a perfect spring balance. Just right. Like a caramel and fudge banana split under a blanket of homemade whipped cream.

It was a diamond of a day.

running for your life

A little list of lessons for life, learned from thinking while running–well, in my case, trying not to think while jogging, barking back at dogs, dodging puddles and cars, trying to keep red mud off my white sneakers, and wondering if the rain will ever stop.

• Uphills make you stronger.
• Uphills count twice.
• Uphill looks like U-fill. Best to separate the p from the u.
• After every uphill is a downhill.
• Downhills count.
• Never make decisions on a downhill.
• Notice the downhills.
• Life is a battle with gravity.
• Enjoy the downhills.
• Don’t worry about an uphill while riding a downhill.
• You can’t stop if you don’t start.
• Stopping is glorious.
• That tingling in your feet can’t last the whole ten miles.
• Music always helps.
• Your body can crave a banana at weird times.
• You can run farther than you thought.
• Life is a journey of stamina, not speed.