My pie is a cheesecake! What a fraud. Reminds me of that dogwood tree that was really a cherry tree, but was later replaced by a birch. (Click here if you really want to go down that wormhole.)

What’s with this cake stigma? Maybe Pie 3.0 had to impersonate a pie to get into this cookbook. Or perhaps the precedent set by the famous Boston Cream Pie brought this on. If the Boston Cream can be a cake but called a pie, my Pie 3.0 can too.

In her defense, Pie 3.0 is beautiful. Well, she was. But you wouldn’t believe it: she was gone in an instant. Luckily I have proof of her existence, and her beauty.

I did wear my hairnet. This Pie had a date at a party, so I couldn’t risk a hair (and the hostess requested no hair. Some people.)


The crust was crushed chocolate wafers. I couldn’t find any (and thought licking the filling out of two dozen Oreos would be gross) so I used these. I’ve made three pies so far and haven’t baked a real pie crust. They’ve all been crushed cookies (Meyer lemon, Nilla wafers, and these chocolate things) all mixed with butter, pressed in the pan, baked for ten minutes and cooled. Easy peasy.


There was a LOT of chocolate to chop and melt and mix and swirl.


The cream cheese warmed to room temperature by sunbathing by the window.


Some chocolate had to be remelted. I made notes in the book to reverse steps 2 and 3 next time.


Some assembly was required.


I doubted the directions and thought I’d swirl with a stick, but they were right–the end of a spoon worked better to scoop down and up while swirling. Here she is.


Tomorrow morning: Pie 4.0. Another beauty, but with a real pie crust. I get to eat it, and you get to look at pictures. Fair enough.



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