Six things I’ve learned on my slow motion diet plan

When my daughter got an iPhone, years ago, and claimed it changed her life, I laughed at her. Come on. A phone? I finally got my iPhone last summer, and though it has the battery lifespan of a dying fire ant, one free App has indeed changed my life. (Well, two apps, actually, but I’ll try not to talk about WordsWithSistersFriends until a later post.)

I’ve been using My Fitness Pal since October to try to lose weight, and it is working, but VERY slowly. I’ve lost 28 pounds in about 30 weeks, and my weight is still going down. By the end of this month my weight will be in a decade of pounds that I haven’t seen since 1990!

Here are six things I’ve learned on this diet:

1. After weighing myself every morning for six months, I can say for certain that I’ve lost almost 100 pounds, one at a time, and gained back more than 70 of them. The up and down of the progress graph is ridiculous.

2. I’m not eating much less than I was before. For almost a decade I complained as I watched the scale inch up that I wasn’t eating anything (except that whole bag of Tostitos, and crackers with hummus, but hummus is supposed to be good for me!) It wasn’t fair. I even had my thyroid checked. I even ran a half-marathon. There seemed nothing I could do to get little again, and I almost gave up. Well, the same little bit too many calories that made me gain weight is the same little bit fewer calories that are letting me lose weight. Math. Who knew?

3. I can eat whatever I want. I just can’t have all of it. My Fitness Pal advises 5:3:2 ratio of carbs:fat:protein, and 1200 calories per day, and I do pretty well most days. Whenever I don’t eat the whole 1200 daily calories, it scolds me with a CYA message about the dangers of under-eating. Too bad. If I’m not hungry, I’m not going to eat any more. And, anyway, I didn’t under-eat; I just didn’t report the brownie!

4. Stress, lack of sleep, and ignoring hunger–for the 8 days Mike was in the hospital–knocked 5 pounds off way too fast. When I got him home, we were both starving.

5. If you keep very careful track of your daily calories, you can “save” some for beer or whiskey. Gotta plan ahead, right?

6.  The same clothes which failed to hide my old fat body are efficiently hiding my skinny body, when they aren’t falling off. I need to go shopping.

7. I will never go off this plan of eating. I will never stop paying attention to what and how much I eat. I will never feel crappy in tight pants, ever again. (Yeah, that’s 7, but counting only matters in calories. Hah!)

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2 thoughts on “Six things I’ve learned on my slow motion diet plan

  1. LOVE this post—you are too funny! I went on a “save my life” diet (due to stress-related high blood pressure) about 4 months ago and lost 15 pounds. Once I changed my mindset from “I can never eat a gooey brownie again” to “I can have one bite of a gooey brownie if I really want it,” the weight started to fall off. Well, taking up running probably helped a little, too. Don’t tell the diet-book authors I’ve edited, but #5 is my secret weapon after a long day, too. 😉 And isn’t it fun to have an excuse to replace those old, tired shorts you bought five summers ago?

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