Wide awake again

Insomnia is a lonely bitch.

She bangs in a 2 am, rips off the covers and interrupts the deepest dreams.

She laughs at me lying in the hot bed, eyes closed too tight, fooling no one.

Wide awake.

She sits beside me, grinning and smug, as I troll Twitter, eat a PopTart, read email and try not to respond in the pathetic middle of the night, and wonder if maybe I should be living on the other side of the planet.

Or maybe I was created for life on a smaller planet. One with a shorter diameter. Or one that spins faster on its axis. These ten hours of darkness are a bit much.

Perhaps insomniacs are older than good sleepers. If we calculate our age by time spent active and awake, insomniacs live more. We’re grumpy about it. We need caffeine to function. But we don’t waste our lives sleeping.

Yeah. Even I’m not convinced. I’d rather be sleeping.

Skooch over insomnia and let me rest for a few hours before we rotate back to sunshine.


4 thoughts on “Wide awake again

  1. They say you ‘need’ less sleep as you get old(er). Of course no one says you ‘need’ more time awake.

    I always worried that my AMA (advanced maternal age) would cause me to lose the precious transition between the lack of sleep that comes with motherhood and the lack of ‘need’ to sleep that comes with old age.

    And now I have more waking hours to bask in the glow of being ‘right’.


    (Red Velvet pop tarts are the best. I’m pretty sure no fruit was harmed in the making of them. )


  2. Take your AMA and divide by hours awake between midnight and 7 am. Multiply by the calories in a red velvet pop tart (which I’ve never encountered but will tomorrow when the store opens). Divide by the year you were born. Raise to the power of n, where n = number of children your have begot.
    If the result is lower than the number of actual times you have ridden on Earth as she completes a full path around the sun, it is OK for you to go without sunscreen on Thursdays in July.
    That’s all I know for sure. And it is 1:47 freaking am.

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