Contract the contraction

If you’ve been around awhile, you’ve read my rants about apostrophes and decimals before, so it’ll come as no surprise to read my thoughts on contractions.

It is not can be contracted either to it’s not or it isn’t. This also works if it is replaced with he or she: she’s not / she isn’t, he’s not / he isn’t…you get the idea.

They are not can be contracted to they’re not or they aren’t (but never to there not).

In some, but not all, cases, either of these two versions of contractions are acceptable, depending on your mood. It is (It’s) no wonder my Chinese friends have trouble learning English. But what is (what’s) the real point of a contraction? Is it not (Isn’t it) to reduce the number of syllables spoken? Let’s check.

It is not = 3 syllables.

It’s not = 2 syllables. Check.

It isn’t = still 3 syllables. Oops. Didn’t work this time.

These are (these’re?) a few of the random thoughts that carried me along oblivious to some of the miles of my windy morning run and which led me to a spectacular idea.

How about a new contraction option? Let us (let’s) contract the contraction. Let’s take It is not and do a double contraction. That would turn it into it’sn’t. (Go ahead and try to pronounce that.)

This revolution will also give us they’ren’t and even we’ren’t (not to be confused with weren’t) and more!

What do you think of these?

It’sn’t funny when they’ren’t laughing.

She’sn’t eating peanut butter.

They’ren’t aware that we’ren’t listening.

I’m sure you’re one of those normal people so you’dn’t (you did not) think of this yourself. No need to thank me. That’s what I’m here for.

[Ha! When I spell-checked this post, the checker double-underlined my double contractions. :)]


One thought on “Contract the contraction

  1. I’mn’t too surprised by the lack of comments and likes for this post as most normal people’ren’t likely to even comprehend this idea.
    It’ll only be appreciated by the elite o’ mind…for those fluent in pig-Latin who have the ability to discern italics.

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