Parents, it’s time to cut the apron strings, land the helicopter

Let your children go. Let them grow. Stand back, hands off, and let it happen. Sure, they’ll stumble. Get scratched up. Become stronger. After all, your ultimate goal is to help them become mature, independent adults.

Oh. Really? That isn’t your goal? Are you kidding me? Your goal is to have them live with you forever, always unhappy, complaining, demanding that you take care of them? Seriously?

I get it now. See, I always thought the object of the game was to help the kids grow up. How did I miss this central theme? Now I understand the things you do.

You complain for your children. Nothing is their fault or their responsibility. You demand that they are given extra help, extra credit, longer testing time, every possible benefit including higher grades than they deserve. Your justification is economical: you pay taxes so you are entitled to control of the educational system. Got it. That’s an interesting viewpoint, kind of skewed, but hey, if you never want them to move out or get a job or be independent from you, I have to admit that it’s a brilliant plot. Foolproof.

Keep it up, you good parent. Knock down walls so the poor kids don’t have to climb over them. Wouldn’t want them stressed, or frustrated, or God forbid, proud of their own accomplishments. They might become self-confident, independent. Gasp! They might move out of the basement someday.

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